DISCLAIMER: I hope you all enjoy every word of the column this week because I am writing in agony due to a back injury sustained some time over the weekend. Sitting hurts. Standing hurts. Lying down hurts. Just… everything hurts. So please send pity vibes as you read as I am the biggest fucking baby in the world when it comes to this stuff. Sure, my wife had three kids, but I had a cold once! That kind of thing…
THE BIG NEWS OF THE WEEK: As those of you that actually pay for this piece of crap finely crafted piece of American literature already know, my Billy Joel tribute band, The Strangers, is reuniting for a show in May. And if you DON’T pay for a subscription, guess what? My Billy Joel tribute band is reuniting for a show in May! The Strangers will be playing the Anglesea Pub in N. Wildwood on Saturday, May 11th at 8pm (til probably around 12). I’d recommend calling to see about a reservation as the Anglesea can get tight and will be absolutely packed for this show.
The only surviving member of the original lineup will be drummer Al Olivero, but I’m pretty excited about this new group. Jerry Kolber, of course, will be my right hand man and lead guitar player. Nancy Malcun will be on acoustic guitar and taking all the notes I can’t hit anymore, which is a lot. Dave Hughes, whom most of you know as my wing man when Jerry is out of town, will be on bass. And Emily Bryce will have the very easy not-stressful-at-all job of being the piano player in the Billy Joel band. No pressure. (PRESSURE!)
Not 15 minutes ago we finalized the play list. It will, obviously, feature all your Billy Joel favorites from the last 5 decades, and a few deeper cuts for the REAL fans like me who in the 80s knew every word to every Billy Joel song in the order they appeared on each album. That’s not weird, you’re weird!
Anyway, it’s going to be a great night and we’d love to see you there. On a semi-related note…
COMPLIMENT OR NOT? OF THE WEEK: First, it was very nice of the 12 or so people who texted and/ or linked me to the new Billy Joel song, Turn the Lights Back On. It’s what helped push me off the should I or shouldn’t I ledge with the tribute band. But it was only local gadabout John Cooke who went on Facebook after Billy’s Grammys performance and said, “You guys really do look alike.” I mean… do I say, “Gee, thanks John!” Or, “Well fuck you, too, John!” Tis a quandary. Let’s see what I get back from him in the comments… (and I am 100% kidding, I know John was not insulting me and he is about the 100th person to tell me this),
My new socks came wiry instructions.
OTHER BIG NEWS OF THE WEEK: I haven’t been doing much acting stuff recently because people haven’t exactly been clamoring for my services. Last thing I worked on was Killing Mary Sue, in which I have only my second onscreen lines and my first onscreen death scene. (I’d have dropped a link in there but apparently there’s nothing out there yet…) So it was a bit of a surprise to get an email from my agent asking me to audition for a movie called Catamount. Now, I’ve sent in many self-tape auditions since the pandemic virtually did away with in-person auditioning in 2020 (I hate not being in the room with people, I love not having to drive to Philly for 30 seconds on camera), but this one was a little different because IT’S FOR A RIDLEY SCOTT MOVIE. No big deal. Just the director of Alien, Blade Runner and Gladiator among many other modern classics. The part is FORENSIC TECH #1 described as “30s-50s, any ethnicity”, which means that every actor in Philly submitted a tape and getting the part would be akin to hitting the lottery, but at least my name is in there, right? Also, they asked for a second take on my line, which means they either really liked my first take and wanted to see what else I could do with it, or my first take was so bad they wanted literally any other take. I guess we’ll find out. Either way, until I don’t get it, it’ll be cool to think about getting it. Ridley Scott!
As mentioned recently, I made my first visit to the dentist since 1989 a couple weeks ago and passed with flying colors. On Friday I went back for a cleaning and it’s like I have a whole new set of teeth and I don’t like it. They fell, I don’t know… brittle. Sure, they scraped away a bunch of plaque and tartar, but what if the plaque and tartar were holding them all together? Did they every think of that? Huh? Anyway, I go back next Friday for Cleaning, Part 2 and if I survive that I will probably never go to the dentist again as long as I live. So, like, three years.
Time to dip behind that paywall. I think I accidentally uploaded the last couple for free. So, I hope you enjoyed them. But now you’ll need to cough up $8/ month to get to the real gold! Thanks and see you next week!
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