I haven't trimmed the ol' vandyke (that’s a “goatee” to the layman) down to the roots in quite some time, but it was nice to see that, once I did, the only strip of pigment that remains is right over my top lip. So, from a distance, it looks like a classic Hitler stache. But, unlike Hitler, Hamas and most American college students, I do not have an overwhelming desire to shed Jewish blood.
GIGS OF THE WEEK: Before I forget to self-promote which is half the reason this stupid column exists…
SATURDAY 11/4: A Terry & Jerry double-dip. We’ll be at Cold Spring Brewery in, duh, Cold Spring, 3-530, then the Rusty Nail 9-12. Jerry and I are workshopping a few new tunes we look forward to playing for you so come out to onje, the other or both! If memory serves, the beers at Cold Spring are quite fine.
JUST IN CASE…
If by some wild, unexpected happenstance I am unable or unwilling to craft another column by then, we’re also playing11/10 at Anglesea Pub, 8-11, and 11/11 (make a wish!) back at the Nail, 9/12.
DROP-OUT OF THE WEEK: I’m not sure if I shared it here but I WAS going to be singing a song at The Last Waltz tribute concert at the Cape May Convention Center on the 18th. However, a paying gig appeared and, as a poor person, I was obligated to take it. So, you should totally come to the Anglesea Pub to see us on the 18th, but if you’re NOT coming to the Anglesea Pub to see us on the 18th, you should totally go to The Last Waltz concert. I performed in it a few years back in Stone Harbor and it was a good deal of fun. I’m bummed I can’t do this one, and if I was singing more than one song (Dry Your Eyes, Neil Diamond) I’d consider keeping the night open but I’m not anmd I’m not. So there. :P
If you ever want to feel really stupid, work a job that requires you to open many taped-up boxes with a safety-first box cutter you keep on a lanyard key chain around your neck so you’re not constantly looking for it, use it for, say, 10 months, then have a co-worker tell you, “You know that clips off” as you’re awkwardly stooped over a heavy box with your aching back and sore wrist because the lanyard is only a couple feet long. OF COURSE the lanyard key chain unclips. IT’S A LANYARD KEY CHAIN. You’v worn them off-and-on for, oh, the last 30 years. You just forgot because sometimes you’re a little stupid. To complete the Shame Cycle, have said co-worker come up and show you how it works while you stand there feeling like the dumbest thing to over live.
Anyway, how was your Thursday morning?
Yes, I was at Game 7 of the NLCS. No, I don’t want to talk about it.
SONG(S) OF THE WEEK: I’ve been doing these early in the column because I get so excited to share new music with you that I just can’t wait another 1,000 words or so, so here are this week’s…
Where The Night Goes, Josh Ritter.
I’ve gone a little gay for Josh Ritter for a couple of years now, starting when I first heard his sublime “Snow Is Gone” as the 2,020th best song on the 2,020 best songs of all-time countdown on WXPN in, uh, 2020. (I’ll share that one later.) I’ve also shared his excellent, hysterical, “Getting Ready to Get Down” in here several times. I’ll admit, I can’t just sit and listen to Josh Ritter songs on a loop for an hour, for me he swings wildly between AMAZING and “eh…” but when a gem like this worms its way into my algorithm I have no choice but to share. So, enjoy it. Then enjoy it again.
HOMECOMING, JOSH RITTER.
Another one I instantly fell in love with from Sermon on the Rocks. Maybe it hits different becuase it evokes the feeling of autumn and things ending but also beginning. Maybe it’s just a great song. I don’t know, I’m often stupid about these things. The best part is the wood-scraper thingy that pops up about a minute in. (I think it’s a Guiro Guiro.) Anyway, here’s the first Josh Ritter song that pinged my rader in 2020…
SNOW IS GONE, JOSH RITTER.
This one has been a staple for Terry & Jerry since about 5 minutes after I heard it. It’s also about birds, which is a Cape May thing, so… kismet!
Speaking of songs, I Googled one the other night at the movie theater that I didn’t know but really liked. Turns out it was a (choke, gag, spit) New Kids on the Block song, which is bad enough, but now my phone, seeing I'd Googled New Kids on the Block, has been constantly sending me New Kids on the Block Google alerts and I just want to throw it into the nearest body of water. Here is the song. But be forewarned, if the laptop I’m currently writing on starts sending me a bunch of NKOTB shit this will bemy last column because the latop will be in a landfill somewhere.
TONIGHT, NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK.
In my defense, I NEVER heard the lyrics, only got a sense of the melody and then that banger of a chorus, so… yeah. I like a New Kids on the Block song, though this song is so good it has no business being a New Kids on the Block song. Just… leave me alone, okay!!??!?!
REALLY BAD MOVIE OF THE WEEK: Henry and I went to Five Nights at Freddy’s yesterday. It’s based on a video game “the kids” have been playing for the last decade, it’s up to Part VII, or so I’m told. I don’t know. It’s basically about a haunted Check E. Cheese, which isn’t a terrible idea for a movie, or video game, for that matter. But, well, I really hated it. It’s from Blumhouse Productions, which is know for quickie-cheapo horror flicks like Insidious, M3GAN (which isn’t bad) and the currently-playing, currently-bombing Exorcist: Believer (why they thought they could make a Marvel-esqu universe out of The Exorcist is beyinbd me, but here we are). So my expectations were tempered. As long as it was a moderately entertaining two hours in the dark eating popcorn and hanging out with my son, I’d be good. It, uh, wasn’t moderately entertaining, or at-all entertaining, and if I’d paid $15/ ticket to see it I’d have been pretty cheesed. If you’re curious and have the Peacock streaming service, it’s on there for “free.” Otherwise, no matter how much your child/ grandchild/ neice/ nephew BEG you to see this movie, have a headache or doctor’s appointment as either of those things would be preferable to seeing this movie. The lead actor, Josh Huthcerson, who was good in The Hunger Games movies, is just flat here. I remember seeing the last River Phoenix movie before he died, The Thing Called Love (which, by the way, has a fantastic soundtrack) and he was flat like this. River was flat because of the heroin that would soon kill him. I hope Josh was just bored or couldn’t believe he went from giant budget Hunger Games movies to starring opposite a haunted animatronic bear.
Speaking of movies (my segue game is just as strong online as it ever was in print), I recently saw the new trailer for Aquaman 2 and I can’t think of a more pointless movie. Like The Flash and Blue Beetle before it, it is in service of a film universe that is dead. The Marvel movies, as (mostly) bad as they’ve been since Avenger: Endgame, at least further a universal plot. These cast-off DC movies are just… there. I guess they’re hoping to make a few bucks off them before they get memory-holed before James Gunn’s new DC universe kicks off. I don’t know. They probably should have just shelved them like they did Batgirl and hope for the tax write-off. Also, I’m not sure James Gunn (the Guardians of the Galaxy trilogy) is the best guy to reboot DC. Yes, his are some of the most entertaining entries in the MCU, yes, his The Suicide Squad was an entertaining DC one-off, but he relies A LOT on quippy dialogue and musical nostalgia and can get too cutesy by half when left to his own devices (much like Taika Watiti movies have become boerdeline unwatchable). But… we’ll see. I just don’t want Batman kicking the Joker’s ass in an 80s arcade while “Don’t Stop Believin’” plays in the background. I am not hopeful.
And, because the last batch of Marvel movies have been so poorly received both financially and critically (and next week’s The Marvels looks about as fun as a colonoscopy), we should not be surprised that Variety is reporting that Robert Downey, Jr. and Scarlett Johansson are in talks to make another Avengers movie. Sigh… and RDJ seemed so happy to be in a “real” movie like Oppenheimer, for which he is a shoo-in to win Best Supporting Actor.
NORM MACDONALD JOKE COME TO LIFE OF THE WEEK: The Biden administration's first major policy act after the 10/7 slaughter of over 1,400 Jews was to put out an anti-Islamophobia thing?
I had to deliver a few items to the Cardiac Rehab center at Cape Regional the other day. It smelled of gingerbread and pumpkin spice, which was nice, because it usually smells like blood and shit. (HEY-O!)
Speaking of smells, is it just me or does everyone smell like weed now?
Every 6-8 weeks I'll forget to bring my compression socks to work and it takes my feet a month to recover. If I knew I was gonna live this long I’d have taken better care of myself.
OCD COMPULSION COME TO LIFE OF THE WEEK: For years people made fun of me for making sure my coffee lid was perfectly aligned with the seem of my cup. But last week, I was in a rush, and I did NOT make sure the lid was aligned with the seem and I got like 12 drops of coffee on my scrubs. NOW WHO’S LAUGHING!??!?! (I may need psychiatric help, for this, and many other things…)
Things have been lean around here for, oh, 25 years or so, so when my old beard trimmer (purchased circa 1997) finally gave up the ghost, I did the prudent thing and replaced it with the cheapest one I could find. A $20 Remington that would have been cutting edge in 1952. Well friends, if I can impart but one piece of advice to you in these trying times, let it be this; do not skimp on your beard trimmer. This thing was like a toture device. Remember the Epi-Lady? It was like that. But for your face. It really sucked.
That’ll do it for this week. I’d go on but I don’t want John Cooke to over-exert his eyeballs on all these words (which he called a “ramble” last week becuase he’s got jokes…).
Til next week, don’t get caught in The Undertow.
I didn’t listen yet but what do you think of the Beatles song released today?
Loving where the night goes thank you x